What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 03.07.2025 01:42
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
He knew the spot.
Why don't some people like the 10 Commandments?
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Nvidia tops Microsoft, regains most valuable company title for first time since January - CNBC
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
What are some K-pop idols with smiles that are healing?
But ive been too sick for many years..
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
A reinvigorated push for nuclear power in space - SpaceNews
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I was 9 years of age.
Lexus Could Get Its Own Version Of Toyota GR’s Next Sports Coupe - Carscoops
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
All the time i was locked up.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
What is one thing you've learned from life?
Ive learnt so much.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
She loved him until the end.
Rangers Option Kumar Rocker - MLB Trade Rumors
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
How One Keto Trial Set Off a New War in the Nutrition World - WIRED
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
How do I get a white man for a serious relationship?
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I waited trembling.
At least 45 Palestinians killed while waiting for aid trucks in Gaza, health officials say - AP News
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I write beautiful poetry .
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Mega Millions Jackpot Won in Virginia - Mega Millions
When she asked me how she looked .
I have no regrets .
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Photos: the ‘No Kings’ rally in Oakland draws over 10,000 attendees - The Oaklandside
But it wasn’t much.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
My mum and dad in the seventies!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Comes on , in middle age.
Endometriosis is an interesting disease - Hacker News
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
It was going to be , some day.
Who then, do I blame.?
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
We all went to grammer schools
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I was very sick at this time too.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I never cut or harmed myself..
She married twice! .
This is soul school!.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I think the readers, may guess!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I will be 64.
She was in good health!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Was to survive, this bastard.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I don,t even have a pension.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I said to her
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
My family never makes their pension either.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Why did i forgive my father ?
I did it because my mum asked me too!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
He was dying to do it , i knew.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
What did i know ?
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
So, i spoilt her more .
I couldn’t, believe it.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
One cannot live in the past .
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Put me off passion for life!!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
She wouldn,t have been !
She found it foreign!.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
He resisted the act ,that day.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
So whats the point in blame.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Im still living with it.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
And i lived it daily.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
But, we were locked up after school.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Would this be the day?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
(And it was in our own minds.)
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I was seconnd youngest,
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
We were not on the streets..
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I was scared of men, in general
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I could never make a relationship work though!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Especially a lifetime of it.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
My life is so biszare .
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.